Thursday, September 24, 2009

Whatever you say

Well... I don't know what should I write on this post after my previous happy post. *scratch head* It's about one of my best friends. She feel that she has been abandoned by me. Last time she used to come to my house a lot. Like every weekend. Starting this year, seldom.. for the pass few months.. not even once. She said that this year I will be having SPM.. so she don't want to disturb me studying. Kano-jo no yasashii wa wakaru desu.. demo sa... watashi wa kizukanai, watashi-tachi no kizuna ga kowarechau... dare no sei kana? Watashi ga? Kano-jo ga? Watashi mo wakarimasen... She even have a 2nd blog without me knowing it. Use it stabbing me behind.. but I pretend that I don't know anything about that blog. Anata mo.. watashi shitteru no Ai-chin janai.. you are totally a different person to me right now.. I don't understand you anymore..

She said "I will feel sad / lonely when my friend abandon me~"
She don't have the qualified to say this!
Since herself did the same thing to her friend~


Even though you didn't put my name there, I know it's me. Why don't just say it? Why so secretive? Since you have the guts to write, why don't put my name there as well? Maybe I really don't have the qualification to say that. Watashi wa saite no tomodachi desu ne.. hontou ni gomenasai ne.. "Modoranai yakusoku no basho" kana... but did you think of it before? What if you are in my place? When I go out with my friends, you got jealous.. when you go out with your friends? How do I feel? Anata nani ga wakaru? You always see that I'm so happy but I didn't show my the other side to you all. Your words recently hurts me a lot... do you know that? I doubt that you know that. I don't know but.. since I was a kid, my friends always hurt me while I always entertained them so they don't leave me alone.. I wonder why thye like to hurt me? My mom always tell me that.. "Don' treat your friend too well. Someday, they will hurt you deeply." I don't believe her that time.. plus I always argue with her for talking bad about my friends. I guess she was right. Friends do come and leave. I was so stupid for dreaming everyday that my friendship will be everlasting. Baka da ne.. watashi wa.


My friends always hurt me.. so why don't I hurt them once too? Let them feel the same pain as I do. Why do I always have to look after their feelings while I'm the one who always get hurt by them. She said to me that... "I feel our friendship is becoming far apart." Her words really hurts me. I told her that I don't feel it that way.. but she still insisted that I'm leaving her alone. She wish to be like that.. so it really is now. She always act like she don't like me infront of me.. then she say I'm abandoning her. Making those faces...


Feelings to be alone.. I understand that. That's what I suffered when I'm in kindergarten and primary school. Ano toki ga modoranai... ii ya da desu.. totemo kowaii desu.. Maybe it was my fault after all? My attitude sucks I think... That's why all my friends keep on disappearing. I do wish that they tell me what is wrong with me but always without a word they leave me. When she's sad.. you think I don't have any feelings? When she's bullied by *****,you think I just take it as nothing important? When the last day of Kem Perdana, I went home crying cause I felt I'm so useless as a leader of our camp. I can't even protect my friends from those idiots. She said I don't have qualification to said that.. does she ever thinks she is doing what she have said? I would like to show her what she have commented on my posts.


If you want to end our relationship, I can't stop you.. If that so, I wouldn't bother to talk to you. Maybe I am just a normal person to you.. since it's so easy for you to say want to finish relation with me.
Please, don't think that you are having the worst situation earth.. there are people worst than you.
Please think twice before you act.

Didn't be with you doesn't mean that I abandoned you. I don't need to have your permission whether I can go out with other friends or not.
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Oh my god.. I shouldn't listening to Stand by U now... I'm starting to tear.. why am I getting sad about this kind of friendship?

3 comments:

  1. Thanks.. I'm getting better now^^ Watashi wa hitori janai xD Ippai tomodachi wa aru desu *hugs all my friends*

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